The other thing you forget though, is while you are oblivious to me, while I'm at work it is my job to specifically not be oblivious to you. This means I spend a great deal of time watching you from the safe distance of the cash register. And some of the things you do I take issue with, and one of those things I'm going to record here today.
Do Not Attempt Logic And Reason With Your Children
Let's face it, children aren't really people. They will be, someday, but as it stands they are merely empty whining shells that are out for all they can get. So when people assume emotional intelligence with their children, it's like assuming emotional intelligence in the blank, open face of Jared Leto.
|DON'T EVEN BOTHER|
"Sweetie, mummy can't get you this today. You already have two games you're getting."
"Honey, baby, mummy can't. She doesn't have the money to get you that aswel. Maybe we get it next week?"
"Darling, I'm afraid in the current economic climate, it just wouldn't be fiscally responsible for me to buy this. Both your father and I have recently lost our jobs, and have no steady income to speak of. In fact, if you will recall, we are only in this shop today so Mummy can hand out CVs."
"WANT WANT WANT WANT"
Children are senseless assholes. The only way you can communicate with them is by being a senseless asshole yourself. This is why, when a parent is faced with a tantrumming child, I think they should turn to their child, look them dead in the eye and say "If you don't be quiet, I am going to kick the absolute shit out of you."
|Best start young.|
Obviously, you never actually beat the life out of them. But the threat is enough. One of the great successes of Irish parenting was The Wooden Spoon Complex. When your mother threatened the Wooden Spoon on you, you knew it was serious: you had got up to some mischevious shit. You probably only recieved the wrath of the Wooden Spoon once or twice- and it probably wasn't all that bad, either. But the threat of The Spoon coming down on you is one that stiffens your stomach for years afterwards. I still can't open the cutlery drawer without being mildly threatened by the thing.
|You are going to get MESSED UP.|